Rat defies Pied Piper By Refusing To Go Back To The Workplace
With the 'Stay at Home' message changed to 'Stay Alert', many employers have insisted their workforce, physically return to the workplace, however one employee is insistent that now is not a safe time to return.
Colin Rat (54 months) of Hamelin was instructed to physically go back to work by his employer a local pest controlling instrumentalist of over 700 years, a Mr P.Piper (54) of the same hamlet, who has been forced to conduct his business, virtually in isolation since March.
"It's madness", Colin Rat protested, "We have all been successfully working from home for the past seven weeks, where I think myself and the other rats have proved we can successfully carry out our duties of infestation, from the safety of our own homes, without the inevitable gruesome death, experienced by many of my former close friends and colleagues. Lockdown has been an enlightening experience and I get to spend time with my multiple families and hundreds of offspring."
Statistical analysis, seems to back up our stay-at-home worker as woodwind related rodent deaths have plummeted to their lowest levels since 1284. Mr Piper however was not so sympathetic,
"There is only so much virtual summoning of pests that Mayors of Saxony will take", explained the be-stripped costumed flutist, "A Zoom call with a thousand rats, even when they are not all on mute, doesn't cut any mustard with locally elected officials. My employers seek me, my workforce, in the physically in the workplace, leading my employees to a watery demise."
Local Hamelin Mayor, Colin Mayor (54), was unavailable for comment, but did issue a statement that it's time for all rodents to do the right thing, get back to work and get the economy moving again; despite the threat of certain injury in the workplace.
Back To Daily Dafty Portfolio
Colin Rat (54 months) of Hamelin was instructed to physically go back to work by his employer a local pest controlling instrumentalist of over 700 years, a Mr P.Piper (54) of the same hamlet, who has been forced to conduct his business, virtually in isolation since March.
"It's madness", Colin Rat protested, "We have all been successfully working from home for the past seven weeks, where I think myself and the other rats have proved we can successfully carry out our duties of infestation, from the safety of our own homes, without the inevitable gruesome death, experienced by many of my former close friends and colleagues. Lockdown has been an enlightening experience and I get to spend time with my multiple families and hundreds of offspring."
Statistical analysis, seems to back up our stay-at-home worker as woodwind related rodent deaths have plummeted to their lowest levels since 1284. Mr Piper however was not so sympathetic,
"There is only so much virtual summoning of pests that Mayors of Saxony will take", explained the be-stripped costumed flutist, "A Zoom call with a thousand rats, even when they are not all on mute, doesn't cut any mustard with locally elected officials. My employers seek me, my workforce, in the physically in the workplace, leading my employees to a watery demise."
Local Hamelin Mayor, Colin Mayor (54), was unavailable for comment, but did issue a statement that it's time for all rodents to do the right thing, get back to work and get the economy moving again; despite the threat of certain injury in the workplace.
Back To Daily Dafty Portfolio
